Cave of Darkness

My family and I decided to take a drive to the bank but to our disappointment, the Bank Islam of Kangar was closed for renovation. The journey ended further to a well known cave in Perlis called Gua Kelam or Cave of Darkness. I find the name rather humorous because I’ve yet to see a cave that’s not dark.

Gua Kelam, Kaki Bukit refers to the 370-metre long limestone cave at the small town of Kaki Bukit. Its name literally means "at a foothill (Kaki Bukit) lies a dark cave (Gua Kelam)". Access to the cave is by way of a suspension bridge. The uniqueness of approach, as well as the experience of walking along the bridge, makes a visit to this place an intriguing and adventurous experience.

On our way back; about 30m to the exit, we spotted this about one meter creepy crawly at the edge of the suspension bridge which I managed to catch on camera. Fear for the safety of the visitors, I showed the picture to the security officer at the entrance. To our amazement; his reply was “Don’t worry about it; he’ll do no harm to anyone”.

Freaking Cool!!

My Catch

First Light Eidul Adha

This picture was taken in front of my mother's house while waiting to leave for the Raya's prayer. Beautiful cloud formation of the first light.

Vacation

I got to see a lot of beautiful things while on vacation. Malaysia is filled with beautiful scenery; you just have to look for it. Melaka is one of the most beautiful cities. It is definitely in my top 10 in the world - I just love it.

But let's face it sometimes the hardest part of taking a family vacation is trying to figure out where to go and what to do. I've heard it many times before from my own family and I'm sure you have too. "Should we go camping? Let’s go to a theme park. Let’s go shopping in the big city. Do you want to visit your aunt and uncle?" It gets tiring doesn't it!


Melaka offers something new and fun to do with my family! From finding a great theme park to enjoying a relaxing time at the beach, taking time-off at many museums, road trip or simply walk down those narrow streets was so much fun. The two extended nights stay were well worth it.

There was so much more that we did, but it was just a blast!!


p/s: Thanks Miza and Jawahir for your kind hospitality - appreciated!

Chasing Dragonfly

I was taking pictures in the field of padi and all of a sudden, a dragonfly came to view – bringing back my childhood memories. That childhood memory of mine I will always cherish. I think one of the greatest things about being human is that we have memories that are reasonably persistent throughout most of our life-spans. Our memories provide continuity between our past experiences and the current moment. You can never get too far away from your memories because everything you now experience is focused by lenses either scratched or polished by previous experiences. How you "see" things is unique because the sum total of your experiences is unique.

Our greatest adult fears were created by childhood memories. Our greatest adult anxieties were produced by childhood memories. Our most negative adult views of ourselves are the product of childhood memories. Our most important adult goals have their roots in childhood memories. Our most powerful adult drives have their roots in childhood memories. Our adult attitudes, adult perspectives, adult expectations, and adult view of life are all powerfully influenced by our childhood experiences and memories.

It is a fundamental characteristic of being human.

My Daemon

I am a Carpenter

The toothache was bad last night even after a couple of painkillers Sharina bought me. To my surprised, the pain was gone after an extended sleep. Went to see my dentist who was out for lunch and kenduri, finally got to see her by 3.30 and I came out grinning. Just some filling and I still got to keep the tooth.
Went to see my mother before a friend called so I had to hurry home. Captured the shot above with the picnic bench in the foreground before I left. I must have built that bench about seven years ago and made me thinking how my Industrial Arts lessons came to have significant effect on my daily life. We used to learn woodwork, metalworks and engines. My woodworking skills and knowledge about engines can be considered above average according to my egoistic rating. Many thanks to Cikgu Zainal, Mr Lai and John (who was my basketball coach as well) for teaching me all those skills.

Childhood Revisited

Being a lazy driver as I am always has the advantage of having all your limbs at your disposal. Our sunset cruise looking at the Indian Ocean brings back memories of my childhood. This picture taken from our moving vehicle is Sungai Berembang which was once a picnic spot for the locals. The silhouette structure is a bridge crossing the river and that distant island was once so close that we can send catapult’s marble right to the island. What I saw now was once a school, mosque and houses swallowed by the Indian Ocean. What was once a swampy area now turned into rocky retaining wall. What a sight of a swallow flying over the island trying to tell us something here. Whatever is happening, my main concern now is that I'm suffering from severe toothache.

Pride & Glory

~my backyard collection~

Can anyone spot the little one eating our pride and glory?

Silver Lining

There is a silver lining in every cloud, so don’t get mad - get glad. One of the unexpected bonuses to thick cloud is the silver lining you can see when the sun's shining behind the cloud.

I guess the same goes with life!!

Strange!

This 1966 VW Beetle was with me for five years and this spot under the two cherry trees has always been the parking spot during the day before it slipped into the porch at night. This exact picture was placed on eBay in 2004 and a guy who won the bid took a six hours nonstop ride home. A few months after the bug left, both the cherry trees strangely enough, died. Maybe both the trees missed the companionship - Who knows!

Judgmental Part II

OK, it’s been too long since my last “real” post. Posting on weekends gets harder and harder with working all weekend, kids, sleep, and the many other weekend activities. One thing still keep on bugging me this week so I decided to channel it here.

Never mind about the previous posting on this issue. It seems to me, that when most people meet another person they either treat them with love or judgment. It's like we have taken a side with each person. We have become their judge and we give them love and acceptance or judgment based on our whims. How many times do you hear other people tear someone else down? How many times do you do it? We have decided to judge them.

If we are to love our neighbor as ourselves, how can we be so judgmental and hard on them? We want love and mercy for ourselves, why can't we give it to the ones we meet every day? Instead we size them up and pick out their flaws - as if we have none of our own. We notice every sin of theirs, but gloss over our own. Yes, we are sinners that need Maker's grace and blessings. They are sinners that need our Maker's grace and blessings. Aren't they just like you and me? The only difference is we are adding judgment to our list of sins and are ignoring most other positive characters in a person

Blessing in Disguise!

What would you do if your car won’t start after work? You pulled out the key - get your camera – look for interesting object – pray that you get a good shot – post it to Blogger. That was what exactly happened to me after work. Afraid that the engine would flood, I walked around the green area outside my office with camera in hand. I spotted this beautiful flower protruding to the sky that I never noticed before and took a few shots. So here it is and my car started the first time after that. Looks like the flower is pointing up there telling me everything happens for a good reason – and in a mysterious way too.

Holy Cactus!!!

Driving home from Kenduri in Alor Star, we decided to stop by our regular Auntie’s Nursery to get bigger pots for our overgrown pandanus. Sharina was browsing for the right pots and I was looking around for appropriate plants for the house – just in case. My eyes caught something wicked and I really have to blog this. The picture above explains everything (I hope) and we walked away with two bigger pots – without any plants.

My Photo Page

I've just created my photo page at FLICKR. You can browse through my pictures by clicking the LINK on the right frame. If you like the picture above, you might like to see the rest of the album. Most pictures were taken around the vaccinity of my hometown - Kodiang.

Green is Sexy!

I was walking down the corridor towards our washroom on a very dull gloomy day but the view in front of me caught my attention. A huge green trash-can complemented by a greener view ahead – trash free. Make me thinking how sexy the green can be even without the blue sky or streaks of white cloud.

It’s been said that if we like something, we’ll tell 3 people, but if we hate it, we’ll tell 12. Needless to say, I like this view so much that I walked back to the office (postponing my nature calls) and capture this shot so that I can blog this. Trash has always been a major problem in public places in Malaysia. Sometimes our favorite products are like adorable pets that pee on the furniture: we love them, but we don’t love their filthy habit. Wasteful packaging is annoying, unnecessary and more expensive to produce. Plastic bottles, Styrofoam containers, canned drinks and plastic bags are just a few of the long list of harmful items if not disposed properly.

Please think again before you toss out another trash – Green is really Sexy!!!

My Capsicum Bears Fruits.

Capsicum is a plant with a densely branched stem. The plant reaches 0.5–1.5 m (20–60 in). Single white flowers bear the fruit which is green when unripe, changing principally to red; some varieties may ripen to brown or purple.

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Today is a gloomy Saturday morning with nothing much going. After a short visit to our local Day’s Market (Nat), we just bunk around the house with our son who is having a slight fever watching Madagascar.

Since our house in a village near Kodiang, we have no need to “keep up with the Jones?” Having the best looking lawn in the neighborhood is a goal many men and women have stressed over for years but not for us. So I decided to explore our backyard under slight drizzle. To my amazement, my capsicum bears fruits. I remembered tossing a few seeds into an unused plant pots and blessed by the rainy season and here they are. Since I was outside the house, I decided to get my hands dirty so I planted a mango that has been nursed by my 96 year-old grandma. Not a bad gloomy Saturday after all and now its pouring cats and dogs.

Yes, it seems that the rains have finally reached Kodiang. That was the only reason I woke up this early to write - the weather. It is raining, the sky is gray, and it is the perfect time to play Maroon 5’s song Sunday Morning (or Diana's Krall's Isn't This a Lovely Day !!!!).

Later today, I managed to catch this view.

Heavy rain creates temporary puddles in my backyard and frequently attracted herons to come and look for fish maybe. There are times when they came in a flock of up to thirty birds. Here you can spot nine of them lurking for fish under my pomelo trees.

Roots and Wings

Beautiful northern sky taken behind my mother's house at almost sundown (6:30pm on Nov 1st) by my Nokia. How I wish my Nikon was with me.

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Part I

I'm now in KL Central killing time to catch my train. Once my lappy was turned on, I was searching for available wireless connection so here I am (connected...). This is my third and last day in KL and I'm really looking forward to be on my own bed.

The presentation that I delivered went very well on the first day and I was really glad about that. The same presentation for another group of participants wasn't that bad too. I guess I can go home and sleep well tonight.

I would like to share in this blog about an interesting person that I met for this particular trip. A taxi man named Mali (HWC560), who gave me a ride from Dynasty to Pearl International. 5pm is always a bad time to hit the road in KL but I was desperate to check-in in Pearl for a good shower and deserved rest. After a few rejected requests, Mali pulled in at the hotel lobby so I asked if he could take me to Pearl. Without hesitation he agreed so I hopped at the backseat. Once inside, I asked him why did he picked me up? He said "kesian tengok abang hulu hilir tak dapat teksi - so saya pusing balik". He turned out to be an ex-video editor with TV3 before decided to become a cabbie after more than six years there. The conversation went really well between us all the way to my destination. It was about life – people etc. He is well mannered guy and very fluent in English. Call him if you happened to be in KL and needing a good ride (Mali: 012-2708915).

to be continued.....

Part II

I am back to my root now. Away from the city buzz and back to my nest. I was reflecting on my experience in KL. Mali made his choice - it was based on job satisfaction. Some says roots connect us to the past and the wings carry us into the future. As far as I am concerned, we can’t have roots and wings at the same time so I chose roots. It gave me a sense of family and connection - a sense of identity, knowing who you are and what you stand for - a feeling of possibility and freedom - a sense of being part of history, part of a community.

Back to my lectures, the audience is people of my age group practicing the same profession and is more advanced in their carrier path. Many have gone to same school, shared the same lecture rooms, and worked together with me. A friend who went to the same college with me 30 years ago sent me this sms later that day after the first lecture. He said “Congratulations for your excellent presentation. You rekindled memories that I’ve not thought for a long time – Afifi”.

Thank you Mali and thank you Afifi. I guess there are times when you can still fly without wings.

Bleeding My Diesel Tractor.

The sun just disappeared behind Bukit Kalong. The smaller hill is Bukit Tembak. Bukit Tembak used to be a perfect semicircle before the quarry did the damage.

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Eager to mow my lawn since Raya, I quickly got into my gardening gear after work and head for my ZL1501 tractor mower. After over two hours of mowing - My diesel tractor mower ran out of fuel for the first time in seven years. Assuming the same will work as the petrol engine, I left the tractor on the field overnight.

Went for a can of diesel the next day and once it was filled in the tank, I cranked the engine. It was idle for a few seconds and went dead. After a few attempts, the tractor won’t even start at all. Drove to a friend’s house who operated a few tractors and a back hoe and he dispatched his son to look after my problem. Only then that I knew, one have to bleed the fuel line before you can restart it again.

Harun or better known as Own went through these procedures..

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1- Fill the tank completely full of fuel. This will help add pressure to the fuel system and flush out the air much faster. Don't skip this step- it is important!

2- Locate the bleeder screw at the top of the fuel filter valve (the part that the fuel bowl is attached to). Open the screws at the top a few turns and wait for fuel to run out. This will indicate that the filter is full of fuel. If you did not fill the tank there will not be enough pressure to force the fuel through the filter.

3- Follow the fuel line up to the injection pump. There will be a small bleeder screw on the pump where the fuel line goes in to the pump. Loosen it and wait for all of the air bubbles to come out. You should be getting straight fuel now

** If you ran out of fuel completely while running the engine or you tried to start your tractor before bleeding the system you will need to continue on through step 7. If you did not try to start the tractor before bleeding the system you can start the tractor normally and go on with your day :) **.

4- Follow the steel lines going from the injector pump up to the top of the engine. Loosen the fitting on the end of the line. Do this on both lines.

5- While sitting on the seat, crank engine at full throttle until you see no more air bubbles coming out of the lines. Do not crank for longer than 10 seconds at a time, letting starter cool 1 minute between attempts.

6- 2 cycles and you should be ready to tighten the fittings back up.

7- The tractor should start now. Let idle for a few minutes to get out the remainder of the air.

NEVER operate starter for longer than 10 seconds at a time. Allow several minutes for starter to cool before re-trying.

Check engine oil pressure light and temperature light. They should both be off. If the red light is on after 10-15 seconds of running, or the amber light comes on- SHUT OFF IMMEDIATELY. You could be causing permanent damage. Locate the problem before running again.

FYI- Why Is a diesel engine hard to start when it runs out of fuel?
Diesel engines rely on extremely high pressure pulses in the injector lines. This high pressure is required to make a fuel spray that is fine enough to burn completely. The pulses cause the fuel injector to "pop" (a point where the pressure in the injector line reaches the required level and the injector opens) and sprays a very fine mist of diesel into the engine during the combustion stroke. When the injector line has even the smallest amount of air in it, the air will compress and the required pressure can not be met. The injector never opens and the air can not be purged from the line.

Own insisted on not charging anything when asked. I handed Own RM20 but he refused. I popped the money in his pocket anyway while he was washing his hands.

Thank you Own!

Swings back to work.

My desk at noon today

Going back to work after nine days off is a slow process. I’d much rather relax and play with new holiday toys than get to the grindstone. Slip back into the routine! When I get back to work after a few days off, especially during the holiday season, I feel slow, sluggish, and uninspired. Too much ketupat, rendang and holiday hooplah has that effect on me. It’s hard to get back into a humdrum work routine after holiday enjoyment.

Well, the day started off very early with a lengthy meeting that lasted three hours followed by piles of papers to go through. I was trying hard to keep my thoughts organized, and keeping myself on track. Hopefully this will help me get right back into the swing of working.

it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae...

Not Quite a Quiet Weekend!

Dayang Bunting Pedal Woman (007-Bond Girl)

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Got up early on Thursday the 18^th and straight to my alamanda (pretty poison) which have been crying for attention. Have em pruned and tied I turned to my eight kelat paya (Eugenia Oleina) for the same attention. All done and tidied, it was still 10 in the morning. Nothing much to do for the day so my wife and I decided to head for Langkawi.

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Overcast Ahead

Langkawi hosts between 99 and 104 islands - depending on who you talk to and whether the tide is up or down. It's on the west coast of Malaysia, just south of the Thai border. Reminiscent of Thailand - but quieter, lazier and unspoiled by pushy touts peddling 'same same' t-shirts. Pantai Cenang, Langkawi's gorgeous main beach, features a wide strip of beach, with sand like cocaine (ironic in a country where drugs are a guaranteed death penalty) and fabulous palm trees overflowing with coconuts. There's one main road, with a strip of shops, budget hotels and restaurants which spill out onto the beach

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The prettiest shutterbug around

Caught a 12:30 boat and secured a Kanchil and we were all set. Checked in by Chenang Beach (cheap and cheerful Lonely Planet recommendation down the road!) and we headed for little shopping spree around Kuah. It was nothing much to do anyway because it was raining till we turned in by midnight.

On Friday morning, after confirming our reservation for island hopping, we popped at Breakfast Station- of course, for breakfast. My nasi lemak did not arrive until about 9am so we decided to call for the bill. The owner was apologetic as I was catching on time and gave us RM4 discount for the bill – good for him but we went ahead for the trip with my empty tummy. The weather was with us for the whole trip until when we were about to head for the shore at almost noon.

All too quickly, it was time to farewell Langkawi - relaxed, chilled and ready to take on the world. Yep. Living the dream.

Not Quite a Quiet Weekend! But it was fun - you know what I mean?

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Quiet Life!

Four Docs engaged in serious discussion (me and the host hidden)

I am looking forward for hopefully a very quiet weekend, thanks to an almost week long celebration but I’ve finally managed to get some thoughts together about a very interesting gathering with my old-boys group on Tuesday evening. Yep, it’s a bit on the deep-and-meaningful side for me. I blame too much time for introspection. But anyway……

Most that turned up, intelligent and understated. I assumed we’d have the normal chit chat/banter about life and work, probably hear an anecdote or two and I’d leave feeling slightly inadequate by comparison. The power of positive thinking, visualization and attitude really hit a nerve with me.

The argument was that while some areas of my life are more successful than others, this could also be true with my attitudes towards them. If I fed some of the positivity, drive and certainty of a positive outcome, say, that I have about my relationships with my family and friends, into my career or love life, the results would be very different.

I know I’m mostly a good friend and am confident of my friendships and family relationships. While I occasionally fight with my family members, we are always solidly supportive of each other and I would never hesitate to ask them for help. In return, they also ask for help occasionally. And I think it’s this co-dependence and mutual support that makes me feels so contented in that environment.

I hate asking for help from people and showing my vulnerable side (especially when forced to). I suppose because I don’t know their vulnerable side and so feel exposed. But maybe just giving people a chance to be kind and nice is what life’s about. Assuming your colleague is about to side-swipe you are unfair, as even if he subsequently does so, your negativity before the event just prolongs the pain.

Move on. Think positive. I thought!

Selamat Hari Raya

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri, Maaf Zahir & Batin to everyone - I seek for your forgiveness if I’ve wronged anyone, neglected the friendship, and abandoned someone in times of need. Thank you also to everyone who has been honest and contributed to my blog. So I wish everyone a wonderful Hari Raya, a significant victory for us. Ampun maaf dipinta…. Halalkan everything that have been written or dramatized here. Gotta go now - need to pay my 'zakat fitrah' before its too late!

Dengan tulus ikhlas ,

Getting High on Life!

Strolling with the sunset at Damai Laut

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If you’re a pot smoking dude or a pot smoking old hippie dude, do I have great news for you in the city! Since Sharina and I are NOT pot smoking dudes or pot smoking old hippies, it wasn’t really the place for us. For instance, you know what gets me high these days? Seeing my youngest taking his first steps or saying his first words. You know what else would get me high? It works on many levels -first it is exactly what you are doing now - linking, discovering and sharing, maybe even when you should be working!

Impatience, Anger, and Frustration

Impatience, Anger, and Frustration. Things that are just hugely, hugely pissing me off today. This week is only about to begin and my body is already waving a white flag. The only thing more beat down than my flesh and bone right now is my conscience. I haven’t been able to keep up with my work schedule in and out of the office.

Sometimes I wish I didn’t think about all the negative consequences of my actions. Some days I wish I could just be blissfully ignorant and go about my day not caring about toxins or working conditions or environmental degradation. I wish I could just leave my empty plastic bottle on the floor and just not care. Of course, that’s not my style. When I really think about it I know that I’m better off for caring, and hopefully I’m making some sort of positive impact, even in my very imperfect way.

Losing Gracefully

Handling a big win is easy; all you do is smile, thank the people who helped you and refrain from rubbing it in the loser’s face. However, to lose gracefully requires exceptional strength of character.

No young child likes to lose at a game. But there are some for whom not winning or not getting their way is a trigger for a tantrum or a pout. They'll storm off if their friends won't let them be the captain of the fantasy pirate ship. They'll knock over the checkerboard or walk away with the basketball if they're losing a game.

A certain amount of this behavior is normal and reflects a child's stage of development. Toddlers and preschoolers, for example, don't yet have the words to express the intense emotions they feel. They're also experimenting with ways to handle their frustration and desire for control. They find it hard to lose for the same reason they find it hard to share toys with other children.

We expect to see a shift in this attitude by the time children are in elementary school. Unfortunately, that doesn't always happen. Researchers have found that older children and adults who are sore losers worry about what others think of them if they don't win, or feel that winning is what makes them good people. (Interestingly, this confusion of doing something good with being someone who is good is typical of how toddlers think.)

September Glory

The sky and the earth meet in so many ways. For instance, where the sea disappears or where the sun slips behind the trees on the hill. Another place I find the sky and the earth come together is in the mediation of the alamandar bloom. It has ventured tendrils from its small start last april and now holds furled celebrations, which it releases for each day in September. Held in timelapse consciousness, each bloom’s emergence and all of them together have the amusing appearance of tops unwinding, flaring, slowing, falling, in on itself, failing, wilting, waiting, drying, fall off…

Ouchhhhhhhhhhhhh........

Dynasty Hotel view of the Twin-Towers with the cloud passing by.

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WARNING…EXTREMELY DISTURBING CONTENT COMING UP. PLEASE DON’T READ NOR BE OFFENDED IF YOU DO READ. JUST A WARNING YOU NOW. THANK YOU.

So I got into my office as always and I had to do my routine “duty”.

Well imagine my surprise when I walk into the washroom and immediately am greeted by a foul and unpleasant order (obscure Seinfeld reference for you there, 100 points if you can guess the scene). I opened the washroom's door and saw this large black piece of shit “dry-docked” in the toilet (meaning above the waterline for those who need a visual). The water was yellow and apparently whoever left behind their mess didn’t bother to flush.

It was disgusting and appalling. I nearly threw up and turned to leave immediately. But then of course the blogger in me kicked in so I decided to share with you how disgusting this was.

I held my nose as I took the picture on my mobile phone (just the thought but I didn't) but I ran out of there as fast as possible. Suddenly my urge to go was completely gone. The craziest part was how whoever took the shit got it to come out of their ass sideways? Seriously…that’s really crazy. And how they managed to get it dry-docked is beyond me. Actually there is some traces of shit on the bowl so they literally must have been forward in the seat.

I wonder what this guy could’ve eaten to create such a thick and dense piece of shit. I mean it must’ve hurt like hell trying to push that through. Well…… Life is like that!

Lazy Thinking

Why are so many people such lazy thinkers? To me, it's easy to blindly accept something as true - reasoning it out is a whole different story. Take the time out to do more research instead of using emotions to filter out what you read and hear about. If you find yourself passionately for or against something, look carefully at your beliefs - can they face the light of facts? Oh, I better hope I did not make a typo or the lazy thinkers who graduate from college today will ask for a discount on the entire argument.

Under My Umbrella.

It’s been raining for what feels like a week straight. I don’t really mind getting wet, in fact it can be quite nice catching some sprinkles heading to the car or walking in the pasar Ramadan in the evening. The thing that gets to me is that for it to rain the sun has to go away, which is fine for a day or two. Not a week. My mental state isn’t the topic of this post though; it’s to share with you my thoughts - why do we sleep better when it rains?

I came up with this answer. Let us share a fine tuned sense of hearing, it almost borders on hyper sensitive. Our sensitivity to sudden loud noises will probably lessen with age. So why would sensitive hearing help me sleep in the rain?

As the rain falls it taps on every part of the house, the cars outside, the street, the trees, it taps on everything. And I hear a lot of tapping! I myself find this comforting because I become more aware of my surroundings by taking in all the tapping, it’s sort of like a 3D sonic reading of the area. This seems to satisfy some sort of primal instinct in me to be aware of my surroundings before I let my guard down and fall asleep. And if I feel safe, I sleep better.

I am sure that if I was sleeping more during these past sun-free week I would be very well rested.

Feeling Guilty

Harum Sedap Malam (my backyard) - Nikon pic.

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One of the feelings which some of us experience is guilt. Strangely enough, the more a person is developed and the more they love and the care, the more they might experience guilt.

Guilt and shame are two different things. Shame is the uncomfortable feeling we might have that we might get caught out for what we have done. We might not care whether it was right or wrong. But we do care whether anyone knows about it or not.

On the other hand guilt has to do with right and wrong. It is not so much a matter of what others might think but what we ourselves think. We have gone astray from our own standards and we experience difficulty coming to terms with this.

Other emotions can be tied up with guilt. We are angry with another because of what we have done! We are angry at ourselves for what we have done. We may as a result feel very sad.

Related to guilt is forgiveness, of ourselves or of others. Forgiveness means to stop blaming or being angry at another for what they have done. It also means to free ourselves or others from an obligation. Not-forgiving is clearly a way of self destruction. Giving up hating or blaming can make us feel a lot better. Some people find it easier to forgive themselves or others when they realize that forgiveness does not mean thinking that what they or the other did was right. When we forgive we still think that what was done was wrong, but we give up punishing ourselves by holding a grudge for what we or another did. We release the bond and let the event go.

May the month of Ramadan brings us forgiveness!

Morning View – Nothing to do with Incubus!

Yesterday : Sunrise from my hotel room's balcony.

Today : Morning View of my desk.

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I fear it’s all too easy to be all motivated when you can’t actually get on with the doing, but perhaps writing down my motivation will spur me into following thought when I’m better!
This morning I woke up feeling horrible, and realized dragging myself to work was a sure way of feeling horrible for the rest of the week. Hopefully another day of rest will mean I can better cope with the rest of the week, recover and be fit for my weekend!
Later, I am going to try to finish my paper work, even if imperfectly, just to move on. I suspect there will be little progress made post-work this week, and none at all while I’m away, but so be it. My holiday week will give me lots of study time, and I still hope to meet the now rather ambitious goal of finishing the whole paper. By then I’ll have the old stuff out of the way will be a fantastic help.
Grand ideas. I want to live this life that I want, instead of fighting it into an exhausting struggle and ending up flat out for a week.
But first, to be healthy!

*both pictures were taken by my Nokia mobile.

Independence Day Eve

Frankly, I m not in the best of elements today on the ‘eve’ of Independence Day? Well! Nothing personal, but the times and space we are living in make me feel not too optimistic at all. But this is what it is…good or bad! I may have to rethink my own independence. I am allowing myself to love things I used to love without letting the energy associated with these past experiences to - well screw everything up. It might not be about erasing everything and starting again - fresh, new, untouched. It might be about allowing in all the stuff I really really loved but lost along the way. I may be a more independent better person because I have been touched - in a good, or not so good way. Because I have, in my life struggled through crowds of people to see, just once a year a bright sparkle promise in the sky. And now it seems less like a promise and more like a reminder, sparkling in of all places.

Happy Independence!

Hamstring Pull

Beautiful breezy evening and my kite flew gracefully as my two boys (17yo and 3yo) were kicking soccer ball around the yard. This 48yo man decided to join in – and after the third kick…. oucchhhhhhhhh….. I got myself a hamstring pull. The last time I had the pull was 10 years ago during tennis match. As I was flat on the grass, my 3yo bent down and asked “are you alright?” Of cause I was not alright and from my past experience it’ll take months to really heal. Well, now I'm limping and looking forward for a night with a couple of hot water bottles!

* pictures taken by Nikon camera.

Doing My Part.

Future Generation

Jalur Gemilang Against the Blue Malaysian Sky - Nokia pix.

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Freedom means right ways of discipline. Many misunderstand what freedom is with personal liberty. Freedom does not mean living as you like and causing trouble to others. Freedom is sacred. Never mix personal ego with freedom. Happy 50th Independence Day Malaysia!

Mowing and Responsibility

backyard explorer - Nikon pix.

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I just spent a whopping three hours out in the sun weeding, mowing the lawn, and generally digging around in the dirt. Yes, I did learn about responsibility and good, honest hard work, and why you should get a good education. I also learned about heat stroke, and that lawn mowers have different height settings based on how much work you want to do on any given week. In any case, the lawn looks really nice today and I was happy flying the kite too.

Why do I blog?

Why do I blog?
Is it to get feedback?
Is it to improve my skills?
Is it to pass on my message to the world?
Is it to share my creativity with one and all?
Is it to inspire and be inspired?
Is it to speak out my heart?
Is it to become a great poet one day?

Maybe, but the truth is
I want to be alive when I am no more
In the hearts of the people I want to live
I want my verses to magically sing
Through my blog I want to breath
And remain enduring for the million years to come

My Home Video

* video edited with Ulead

No Pain No Gain!

If one can keep going through endless changes in fashion and style then one must be doing something right. If you set out to travel from Arau to Jitra, then you will probably struggle manfully through the endless roadworks all the way, wondering as how much longer people are prepared to accept an endless changing in single lane on one of the north's busiest roads. Expect completion sometime in the next two years. Maybe.......

I am absorbing the pain - for the gain!