Losing Gracefully

Handling a big win is easy; all you do is smile, thank the people who helped you and refrain from rubbing it in the loser’s face. However, to lose gracefully requires exceptional strength of character.

No young child likes to lose at a game. But there are some for whom not winning or not getting their way is a trigger for a tantrum or a pout. They'll storm off if their friends won't let them be the captain of the fantasy pirate ship. They'll knock over the checkerboard or walk away with the basketball if they're losing a game.

A certain amount of this behavior is normal and reflects a child's stage of development. Toddlers and preschoolers, for example, don't yet have the words to express the intense emotions they feel. They're also experimenting with ways to handle their frustration and desire for control. They find it hard to lose for the same reason they find it hard to share toys with other children.

We expect to see a shift in this attitude by the time children are in elementary school. Unfortunately, that doesn't always happen. Researchers have found that older children and adults who are sore losers worry about what others think of them if they don't win, or feel that winning is what makes them good people. (Interestingly, this confusion of doing something good with being someone who is good is typical of how toddlers think.)

September Glory

The sky and the earth meet in so many ways. For instance, where the sea disappears or where the sun slips behind the trees on the hill. Another place I find the sky and the earth come together is in the mediation of the alamandar bloom. It has ventured tendrils from its small start last april and now holds furled celebrations, which it releases for each day in September. Held in timelapse consciousness, each bloom’s emergence and all of them together have the amusing appearance of tops unwinding, flaring, slowing, falling, in on itself, failing, wilting, waiting, drying, fall off…

Ouchhhhhhhhhhhhh........

Dynasty Hotel view of the Twin-Towers with the cloud passing by.

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WARNING…EXTREMELY DISTURBING CONTENT COMING UP. PLEASE DON’T READ NOR BE OFFENDED IF YOU DO READ. JUST A WARNING YOU NOW. THANK YOU.

So I got into my office as always and I had to do my routine “duty”.

Well imagine my surprise when I walk into the washroom and immediately am greeted by a foul and unpleasant order (obscure Seinfeld reference for you there, 100 points if you can guess the scene). I opened the washroom's door and saw this large black piece of shit “dry-docked” in the toilet (meaning above the waterline for those who need a visual). The water was yellow and apparently whoever left behind their mess didn’t bother to flush.

It was disgusting and appalling. I nearly threw up and turned to leave immediately. But then of course the blogger in me kicked in so I decided to share with you how disgusting this was.

I held my nose as I took the picture on my mobile phone (just the thought but I didn't) but I ran out of there as fast as possible. Suddenly my urge to go was completely gone. The craziest part was how whoever took the shit got it to come out of their ass sideways? Seriously…that’s really crazy. And how they managed to get it dry-docked is beyond me. Actually there is some traces of shit on the bowl so they literally must have been forward in the seat.

I wonder what this guy could’ve eaten to create such a thick and dense piece of shit. I mean it must’ve hurt like hell trying to push that through. Well…… Life is like that!

Lazy Thinking

Why are so many people such lazy thinkers? To me, it's easy to blindly accept something as true - reasoning it out is a whole different story. Take the time out to do more research instead of using emotions to filter out what you read and hear about. If you find yourself passionately for or against something, look carefully at your beliefs - can they face the light of facts? Oh, I better hope I did not make a typo or the lazy thinkers who graduate from college today will ask for a discount on the entire argument.

Under My Umbrella.

It’s been raining for what feels like a week straight. I don’t really mind getting wet, in fact it can be quite nice catching some sprinkles heading to the car or walking in the pasar Ramadan in the evening. The thing that gets to me is that for it to rain the sun has to go away, which is fine for a day or two. Not a week. My mental state isn’t the topic of this post though; it’s to share with you my thoughts - why do we sleep better when it rains?

I came up with this answer. Let us share a fine tuned sense of hearing, it almost borders on hyper sensitive. Our sensitivity to sudden loud noises will probably lessen with age. So why would sensitive hearing help me sleep in the rain?

As the rain falls it taps on every part of the house, the cars outside, the street, the trees, it taps on everything. And I hear a lot of tapping! I myself find this comforting because I become more aware of my surroundings by taking in all the tapping, it’s sort of like a 3D sonic reading of the area. This seems to satisfy some sort of primal instinct in me to be aware of my surroundings before I let my guard down and fall asleep. And if I feel safe, I sleep better.

I am sure that if I was sleeping more during these past sun-free week I would be very well rested.

Feeling Guilty

Harum Sedap Malam (my backyard) - Nikon pic.

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One of the feelings which some of us experience is guilt. Strangely enough, the more a person is developed and the more they love and the care, the more they might experience guilt.

Guilt and shame are two different things. Shame is the uncomfortable feeling we might have that we might get caught out for what we have done. We might not care whether it was right or wrong. But we do care whether anyone knows about it or not.

On the other hand guilt has to do with right and wrong. It is not so much a matter of what others might think but what we ourselves think. We have gone astray from our own standards and we experience difficulty coming to terms with this.

Other emotions can be tied up with guilt. We are angry with another because of what we have done! We are angry at ourselves for what we have done. We may as a result feel very sad.

Related to guilt is forgiveness, of ourselves or of others. Forgiveness means to stop blaming or being angry at another for what they have done. It also means to free ourselves or others from an obligation. Not-forgiving is clearly a way of self destruction. Giving up hating or blaming can make us feel a lot better. Some people find it easier to forgive themselves or others when they realize that forgiveness does not mean thinking that what they or the other did was right. When we forgive we still think that what was done was wrong, but we give up punishing ourselves by holding a grudge for what we or another did. We release the bond and let the event go.

May the month of Ramadan brings us forgiveness!

Morning View – Nothing to do with Incubus!

Yesterday : Sunrise from my hotel room's balcony.

Today : Morning View of my desk.

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I fear it’s all too easy to be all motivated when you can’t actually get on with the doing, but perhaps writing down my motivation will spur me into following thought when I’m better!
This morning I woke up feeling horrible, and realized dragging myself to work was a sure way of feeling horrible for the rest of the week. Hopefully another day of rest will mean I can better cope with the rest of the week, recover and be fit for my weekend!
Later, I am going to try to finish my paper work, even if imperfectly, just to move on. I suspect there will be little progress made post-work this week, and none at all while I’m away, but so be it. My holiday week will give me lots of study time, and I still hope to meet the now rather ambitious goal of finishing the whole paper. By then I’ll have the old stuff out of the way will be a fantastic help.
Grand ideas. I want to live this life that I want, instead of fighting it into an exhausting struggle and ending up flat out for a week.
But first, to be healthy!

*both pictures were taken by my Nokia mobile.