Getting older

Olympus OM-2sp | 50mm 1.8

Lately I have been thinking more and more about my dear mother. Is this because it was almoost a year since she left us.Or could it be because I am getting older myself and find that I am wondering what my mother was like before she was just "mother" in my mind?

Will tomorrow be another long day, the timing of things will be wrong, clicking when I should be snapping, moving when I am supposed to be daydreaming, forcing when I will be gliding, running when I should be walking, posting when I should be holding.

I smoothed my hand against the hot panel of the side car door on the way home, the static electricity always gave me a good shock. The children are spread around the country, doing things without me - without their father. They are older than they used to be. I slide off my flip-flops and push my foot hard on the gas pedal, feel the warm rubber. The sun is moving downward. The sky is clean and blue. The trees are many with beautiful soft Kedah green. The trees' heads bump against the sky. Sunlight moves over my arms and my face and my hand is burnt against the car door panel. I am going home to my wife and there is her face and her hands and her eyes and our history and our future.

Caffenol works

Nikon FE2 with expired Superia 200 - negative scanned
Developed with coffee, Vitamin C and washing soda

It came as no surprise but I was exited that the formula for the first roll of my Caffenol mixture works. Chemically speaking, the stuff used was : 25g instant coffee, 12,5g sodium carbonate (washing soda), 1,1g ascorbic acid (vitamin C) , 290ml water. Well, I tried another roll with Malaysian coffee and it did not work. Now, I need to hunt for the cheapest instant coffee around.

Caffenol - All I need is Vitamin C

Looks like I have everything covered toward my first step of developing film with coffee and vitamin C. The hardest stuff to find was the washing soda which I managed to get from a pharmacy in Kangar. A generous uncle provided me with his old daylight changing bag. Now, I'll have to go and get the Vitamin C powder and washing liquid. I am all exited and you should try too.

The ingenious idea was discovered HERE. Thanks to Zainurin for forwarding the address.
The beautiful photographs are in this FLICKR Pool.
The video on how to get it done can be seen down here.

Alfatihah

Sungai Palas Tea Plantation, Cameron Highlands

I was told that these tea plants would live to 100 years and that is a long time for such a small plant. For all of us, life is too short sometimes. I still remembered my first day at school more than forty years ago. The life in boarding schools that followed was full of experience that somehow molded to what I am today.

Yesterday, one of our friends passed away. I remembered he was telling me after his first battle with heart attack a few years back. He said, at that critical moment, all he could remember was his childhood and schooling days. The rest went black. I guess those were our happy times – carefree and without so much responsibilities.

A life you don’t live is still lost. We were all tied up with our daily chores and some of which did not really matter in the end. Will we remember these days when our turn come? Will we be able to claim back the happiness that we once had during our younger days?

To Allahyarham Abdul Malik Majid, may you be blessed with those who went ahead of you and those who will follow.

Amin

Bird of Paradise (Heliconia), Cameron Highlands

Daily life

Riding the storm in Pulau Dayang Bunting

I am writing this hub based on my own experiences and I’m sure some of you will agree with me. Just forget about the issues highlighted in the mass media and let’s just focus on courtesy with our daily life.

I’m just going to list down two incidences happened to my wife this week and of course there are many more. These two are still fresh in my memory.

The first one took place in Watson. While queuing at the cashier with a basket of little stuff, a lady clad in tudung with a couple of items simply cut off the queue and checked out her stuff. She was fully aware of what she was doing by the way she acted while she was at it.

The second incidence happened at a small mini-market in my kampong. My wife and my five year old son had a few stuff in the basket ready to check out while my always-so-active-son accidentally knocked on a guy clad in sleeveless top with tattoos all over the arm (I live in a large community of Thais as well as Malay and Chinese). The guy politely gave way to my wife for a quick check out and willingly waited behind the queue.

I’m not making any conclusion about these incidences and there were many more that I won’t list down in this hub. Thanks for dropping by and have a nice day.

Inertial force

D80 Sigma 10-20mm EX

The inertial force is keeping me away from doing any serious work today but a backlog of things is there in my task list. It is time to get into full swing again? Just two days at work after a long break and I have already sat in four meetings. There will be another one away from the office on Wednesday. So, tell me if all these meetings are really productive? However, I'm not going to let a little thing like the hours in the day get the best of me, oh really!! I'm just not used to it anymore. I'm too accustomed to allowing myself the luxuries of distractions for the whole long week, just bouncing from one thing to another without any real care about the time.

Why do I still go to work? Going to work costs a lot less than a vacation. I think that is a good enough reason until I have enough money for another long vacation.

In the wilderness of Borneo.

From left: Bill, Jusni, Jong and Alfred


Sunset that I shot with Bill and Alfred

Early morning outing with Bill, Alfred and Jong

My family trip to Kuching recently brought back wonderful memories. Sarawak is rich with nature and wonderful people. I had a day out with my Trek friends which we have never met in person. We had great time and I thank Bill, Jong and Alfred for their kind hospitality. Not to forget Rahman and wife who have been a great help in shipping us around and finally sent us off to the airport.

This is an email from Bill and many other kind words from critiques in Trek sites.

...when you open your email.

Well what can I say, Jusni. It turned out better than I expected, not just because I thought we could click well, but because you turned out to be nearer to my age too. So many things I would like to put them in words, including
.great family you have
.good passion on photography as shown in 1evening+1day
.glad you shared our day of routine in Kuching
.your photos failed in a small way to describe the real YOU [you
turned out better]
.my dream of going on motorbike tour; you too
.thank your wife for her thoughtful gifts
.TQ for use of your lens
.dozing off in my car - u r human after all
.in Malaysia, religious or other differences between us cannot split our harmony
.would be tempted to cross into Thai borders!

Glad that we met. I will let you post your 1st Kuching shots.

When you have chance, test Tamron 28-300mm [model A20] and let me know because I would consider buying that for travel. After I look for the Singapore Girls photo I took with 70-300mm, I still think expensive lens is not my priority choice unless I print poster size photos for professional work. I will carry on with prosumer lenses, despite constant push from Alftrek to buy that RM6k lens.

Bill's critique:

I know if I posted my sunset, then it will force you to sit on your PC and do something about TE, and here it comes from your Kodiang home.

Let me 1st tell you the story of a traveler from Kodiang. He brought a Lowepro bag of camera and accessories ready to conquer Kuching but he stayed here too short; he brought a beautiful wife [another trek member] and 2 lovely children. And the lady is so gracious to allow him one day totally off with us into the jungles. Thank you both for that.

We were supposed to meet the next day; but I could not resist to tempt him about the sunset and so I called him and told him I would come down to the hotel and meet him, because the sunset venue is just a short walking distance. This is the result of the endeavor. Thank you for your kind and generous note.

As to the photo of sunset, well very sharp and a good harvest of the earlier part of the evening. The best thing about TE meeting is that we get to shoot about the same scenes but all in many different styles and tastes. This one is a good one because, haha, I shot the same POV. Four eyes growing on 2 bodies cannot make a mistake?

Please dont blame me if your wife regrets not shooting this sunset scene; but she can make a comeback trip to 'break even' the score?

I like the tail wave after the boat passing through and the long reflected light on the water. Too bad that fishing boat is not slowing creeping into this frame; I know I waited but it never came. As for colors and tone, I have no comment because we both use Nikon cameras.

Thank you for the dedication. See you again in Kuching?

tfs, bill

p/s I just discovered running out of smileys, but who cares? I cannot wait to post one comment.

2. If you look at your Malaysia map, at least now you have 1 Sarawak :)

3. Perhaps we can take the family to Semporna islands, Sabah one day after careful planning?

4. TQ for the gifts; please remember us when you use your reading glasses lost in my car :)

5. crazy Kuching macro Nikon group!

6. please post your butterflies

7. last one : If not a driver, I should have shot how your head drooped around in the front seat while dozing off on the road :)) very cute old-boy sleeping under hot weather.


Alfred's critique:

Hello Jusni,
Haha, thanks for your beautiful photo and kind notes. It makes us feel proud of Kuching. We will surely drop by and attack Kodiang and its surrounding padi fields with our cameras one day, hopefully soon. One day for shooting in Sarawak is just too short, hope you and your wife will come back another time to make up for what you have missed during this trip.

Your post makes me jealous, it has such wonderful golden and blue sunset colours double up in the reflection. Never mind about that fishing boat which we all hope in vain for it to come into the frame, but the silky smooth waves in the FG make up for it. The long and fine string of reflection of the jetty's lamp adds a finishing touch to this superb photo.

Cheers
Alfred

When no problem is a big problem!

My wife and I decided on a bookcase in Alor Setar furniture store. When I asked if it can be delivered to Kodiang, then they said no problem because there will be delivery around the vicinity the next day. They even promised me that the truck would leave the place around 11.00am. I called the store around noon and they said the items were already loaded in the truck and the driver will take it away at 2:15pm. My wife made another call at 6:30pm and they said the truck has just left the store because they have to get another driver from Perlis. It is already 8:30pm as I am writing this hub and there is yet any news of the delivery. I wanted to say, "Of course, it shouldn't be a problem for them - they are, after all, our service provider and I didn't ask them to do anything unreasonable. I'm only asking them to do their job." What is it with this phrase, "no problem?" Think about it. The definition of "service is an act of helpful activity; help; aid: to do someone a service. Customer service should be the focus of every interaction you have with your customers. "Don't let the guest work. You should anticipate their needs," - "If the customer asks for something then be positive in your reply. Our servers are taught to say something such as 'Certainly, I'll have that right out for you." So the next time you interact with your customer or client - think before you unthinkingly reply to a request by saying, "no problem." No problem is a big problem when it comes to quality customer service. I'm a stickler for customer service. There are so many choices today for just about any product or service that you shouldn't have to put up with lousy customer service. Yet, you don't have to go much farther than a nearby store to see how pathetic customer service can be. Sometimes even common courtesy falls to the wayside.

A day went by where nothing works

Nikon D80 Nikkor Ai-S 24mm f/2.8

Don't you have it that sometimes you get one of those nothing seems to work out. Today I had to to complete a few tasks which looks easy in the beginning. By 6:30pm, I was driving home reflecting on all the time wasted running around with nothing in return. After a quick shower and obliging my responsibility, I headed for my Pentax with the battery compartment sealed. I tried every possible ways that I knew off to get it opened but to no avail. Once this hub is posted, I am seriously thinking about calling it a day.

Well i think you know the feeling trying to get out of bed - got a bottle of coke beside me six aspirins in my head - Well it's been like this ever since last thursday night - Seven days gone by and nothing went right It's been one of those days all week long - A fraction of my personality wants to splitI walk around from room to room but nothing seems to fit - Too many colours on tv ten aspirins in my head - So i go get my covers and slip into bed - It's been one of those day all week long.
Readymade : One Of Those Days Lyrics

Work Part II

Tyre shop : Minolta SRT Super / Rokkor 55mm f:1.7

Jobs are ok for many but the stupid coworkers, guys acting like pussies, bored out of skull, and people that really suck and many more lead to why work sucks. Like many, I have the same problem. I have a job in the ranks of middle management. But I hate it. I hate the bureaucracy. I hate the work politics. I hate the constant management changes. Constant strategy changes with no significant changes on the products will make you think. Everything is derivative, "borrowed" from elsewhere, recycled five years too late. I somewhat sympathize with the smart asses who specialize in figuring out how not to get things done, but all I really want to do is build great characters and have a reasonable amount of fun doing it. If I can stick it out, I could choose not to work. I could stay home and do nothing for a year or more. I could spend all my time doing volunteer work or labor myself in the farm. I wouldn't have to work for any man. How can I stick it out without going crazy?

Looking without seeing....

b+w Nikon D80 18-135 Nikkor

I am roughly where I should be today, in my office waiting for some kind of event/ceremony that I'm not looking forward to. Later today, I'll be taking a short work trip to an island. Another ferry ride and the possibility of working for long hours does not sound like a very good prospect ahead. Along the way, I might be looking for some photo opportunities as I will be in the passenger seat for once. I have been to the island last week but being on the driver's seat made me just looking without seeing.

I just did a very stupid thing and still kicking myself over it. I was looking all over the place in my office for my car key until I realized that my wife dropped me at work today.... silly me!

Grandpas’ rock!

B+W Nikon D80 18-135 Nikkor

Of ISO and SSM - how much are all these fuss contributed to quality and job performance. Has anyone tried working out the man hours involved in conforming the ISO identifiers and does this fit in the sense of cost benefits in bringing out the efficiency of the output? Has SSM been successful as indicator for job performance as compared to grades obtained in PTK?

At the end of the day, the grandpas who had been in the system before us that rock. No PTK, no ISO and just plain delivery of services until the day they retired.

So, do you think you can tell?

OR

We're just lost souls swimming in a fish bowl,
year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have you found?
The same old fears.

Song about war and peace

Nikon D80 28-70 Tokina f/2.8

Mike Rutherford from Genesis wrote the lyrics of this song by Genesis for their 1986 album Invisible Touch. A lot of truth back then and so much of it is true now. Disturbed remake the song and here is the lyric.

DISTURBED LYRICS

"Land Of Confusion"

[Originally by Genesis]

I must have dreamed a thousand dreams
Been haunted by a million screams
But I can hear the marching feet
They're moving into the street

Now, did you read the news today?
They say the danger has gone away
But I can see the fire's still alight
They're burning into the night

There's too many men, too many people
Making too many problems
And there's not much love to go around
Can't you see this is a land of confusion?

This is the world we live in
And these are the hands we're given
Use them and let's start trying
To make it a place worth living in

Oh, superman, where are you now?
When everything's gone wrong somehow?
The men of steel, these men of power
Are losing control by the hour

This is the time, this is the place
So we look for the future
But there's not much love to go around
Tell me why this is a land of confusion

This is the world we live in
And these are the hands we're given
Use them and let's start trying
To make it a place worth living in

I remember long ago
When the sun was shining
And all the stars were bright all through the night
In the wake of this madness, as I held you tight
So long ago

I won't be coming home tonight
My generation will put it right
We're not just making promises
That we know we'll never keep

There's too many men, too many people
Making too many problems
And there's not much love to go round
Can't you see this is a land of confusion?

Now, this is the world we live in
And these are the hands we're given
Use them and let's start trying
To make it a place worth fighting for

This is the world we live in
And these are the names we're given
Stand up and let's start showing
Just where our lives are going to.

Faith

Photograph courtesy of Sharina

The idea of modernity is difficult to pin down. For some modernity implies cultural behavior that takes advantage of technological advances in order to live and relate to others in their own ways. Relating to others will put you in restlessness. Putting your faith in others (which is worse) means you are going to set yourself up for a loss. Instead you are better and wiser to put faith in yourself and God. Do you really know another person completely? You may think you do, but really when it comes down to it you know nothing. You may think you know how another person thinks, speaks or will react in a given situation but, as is with many things in life, there is always the element of surprise. This happens to all of us on a much smaller scale everyday. When you talk to somebody they may say something that to you that is completely unexpected and out of the ordinary, which will again make you think.

All the good hearts have been taken
No more hearts around here were breaking.................
All I got to keep is strong so move along......
[All American Rejects]

Begging for mercy

Nikon D40 50mm f/1.8

I don’t really fancy asking favors from people but it is not always avoidable. Even though I’m aware that it’s not their obligation to fulfill my request, I am still disturbed with the negative responses. It is like begging for mercy.

The same goes with operating digital camera or automatic genre. You are begging the processors to do all the calculations for you so that you can concentrate on composition. If the battery fails or the chips went bonkers, you are left with no mercy. There are too many reasons on why I chose Nikon FM2 (or my trustworthy Olympus OM-1). I can shoot all day and night from the Arctic to Sahara. A couple of batteries will last me years and even if they went dead, I can still rely on the Sunny16 rules as long as I have films in my pocket. Not to mention the synchronization flash speed of 1/250s (my D80 is a step backward with1/200s) and a really fast shutter of 1/4000s. The metal felt good in my hand and the solid metal gives me confidence of its reliability. Now with the newly acquired Nikkor 24mm f/2.8 excellent optics, it can only get better. As my own style of photography slowly evolved, at last I knew what I needed. Being purely mechanical, and one of the most reliable cameras Nikon has ever made, its small size means that you can carry everywhere and in action. Shooting is fun again and I am looking forward to explore more with this wide optics.

Cognize

Nikon D40 28-70 F/2.8 Tokina

What do the others think about me? Well, I have recently found out that many times, putting myself in other peoples' places, I can analyze me from outside, objectively. Going further, to my emotional intelligence...what should I say? I believe I have some work to do in this area. Although I am aware of my emotions and feelings, I perceive them, it is rather hard to asses, control or manage them at times. I am a rather impulse-driven person, but I believe I have made considerable progress in this area. A question that pops in my mind now and then. Do I know myself? To tell you the truth, I don’t. Or is it this more serious side? Or maybe both? I have absolutely no idea. I just know that my thoughts, my actions all depend on what I feel. Another fool guided by heart you would say.... but I am learning.

Leading to some books I was reading recently (thanks Foozi)- on what is the essence of the teachings of the Prophets, how is it related to Sufism, and what is its relevance for today? If we look objectively and with sincerity at the lives and teachings of the Holy Prophets, it will be very clear that their lives were devoted to announcing, and sharing with others, their unique discovery. The method through which they had arrived at their discovery was not because of what others had said before them, or because they feared or trusted someone. Instead, they had an innate unquenchable urge to "know" which could not be satisfied except through personal experiences.

Mohammad gave directives as to how one can cognize one’s true self. He said,

"Whoever cognized his true self has cognized God."

In essence, this is what the message of all Prophets has been through time: Know yourself. Know the "being" who is everlasting and not restricted to the body, to desires, and all the action and reaction that takes place continuously. The Prophets are not addressing the elements that make up the various organs including the brain, the memory and the senses. They are not addressing the behaviors learned through the various socialization processes. They are addressing the "being" who has existed ever since the baby was born, and continued to be constant through out the changes that the child underwent until it reached adulthood. Everything changed –the body, ideas, ideals, thoughts, goals, et.—but the "being" called "I" always remained constant.

Sufism is a discipline, a method and a way that teaches humans how to discover and unfold their true self, the "I". Know the "being" who is your true identity, the source of your becoming, the source of knowledge, so you may live in peace and balance. Sufism is the method through which the Prophets attained the cognition of God, and their true self.

Wallahualam.

Silver gelatin

Nikon D80 Nikkor 60mm f/2.8 Macro

This year seems a bit funny with my photographic interest. When I was tidying up my three layers drybox, I discovered so many camera bodies and quite a number of film SLRs as well (Canon AV-1, Canon AE-1, Olympus OM-1N, Nikon FE2, Nikon F301, Nikon F50 and a few excellent primes with f/1.4). Having owned and extensively used Nikon D50, D40 and D80 with arrays of optics and accessories, I was thinking if I am actually an artist or just computer operators. Chimping with the LCDs and post processing with Photoshop, Lightroom etc., do not make me an artist.

Last week, I loaded my FE2 with TX (silver gelatin). Suddenly I am like a young boy again, toying with the camera that has been around my neck since the late 70s. So easy with no complication whatsoever. Yes its not as convenient, but I am now the artist, not the computer operator anymore. I have to consider technique and light again and use my judgment. I started using my tripod more with the cable release attached. A bit troublesome, but discreetly interesting, cheap and very satisfying. Tomorrow, I'll get my negs developed at Dragon. If things turned out good, I'll use my cheap scanner and save some prints for the family album. Less money spent and hopefully no redundancy.

Too much too long.

Nikon D80 60mm f/2.8 Macro Nikkor

I'm concerned about myself. The long unproductive break was heading me nowhere. I was in the meeting room, as always for the past 10 years. Shall I call the dealer “for a trade in?”. What will I do with the “new toy”? I guess I have been dealing with the same old stuff far too long. I compromised too much and looked the other way far too long. I'm sick of it. Listen up pal. This is the way things are going to work this year. No more bright television lights. I want every single one of those damn things turned off. Of course you keep seeing your shadow; a pilot could land a 747 at KLIA with just the beacon of lights that illuminate the place but you could still see your shadow. Ditch the light everyone because I am comfortable with the mysterious darkness.

The chairman hailed from the front; “Have you got anything to say?” I was reaching out for my stuff and packed them in my Transit Sleeve. I was more than ready to leave.